J'arrive

It was a lonely journey. Since my wife, Babs, told me that we needed to watch pennies until this unjustice is righted, I was forced to charter a G-3 instead of a G-5 for my pilgrimage to New York, and to take a Town Car from Teterboro to Foley Square instead of a limo.

I had considered fleeing the country, and establishing a CEO in exile, but Artie Tifford, my brilliant attorney who has won so many legal battles for me, advised me that my offshore accounts had been frozen, and that the Tombs were probably nicer digs than a slum in Zimbabwe. Plus, unjust imprisonment establishes my martyrdom to the cause of freeing the world of naked shorting.

I arrived at what is termed "processing" promptly at 11:59:59 PM on May 3, 2008, and was politely greeted by the professional staff with the instruction to "hit the wall and spread em, maggot". These guys are a real bunch of kidders, and they clearly understand that I am innocent.

After their efficient intake process I was shown to my suite at 4:30 AM, and was greeted by my suitemate, Tyrone, who grunted "top bunk, fat-assed honkey". I think we will get along fine for the few hours I will be in here.

It's been a busy day, so I will close for now and take up my struggle in the morn. My friend Arun is organizing a massive demonstration to protest my imprisonment tomorrow, so I should have some exciting things to report. Semper fi!!