Le premier jour

WOW! It seemed as if my head had barely touched the pillow (note to guard-pillow has lumps and smells bad. Please replace.) when it was already time for our 6:00 AM breakfast. With three hundred fellow suite-mates crowded into a small room it was pretty cozy, but not much worse than the owner's box I had after I beat out Don Trump for ownership of the Cincinatti Reds.

Breakfast was...unusual-fried Bologna sausage, an egg-like substance, and pain blanc. I've had better, but Babs told me that this brief stay will help me understand what the little man experiences every day. It must really suck to be a little man.

I am slowly getting to know Tyrone, my suite mate. He is a man of few words. In fact, so far the only thing he has said is Shut the fuck up, or I'll break your face. Underneath that rough exterior, though, I sense a warm and sensitive guy who, like me, is a victim of an unjust system.

I was kind of bummed out with the demonstration that Arun promised to organize for my freedom. I looked out of my slit window, and all I saw was three homeless guys sharing a bottle of MD 20/20. They didn't even have a sign! Maybe I misunderstood the date.

The good news is that I am beginning to pick up Spanish, which will be handy for dealing with the help when I get back to Palm Beach. I can already say puta gringo gorda!

I am writing a long letter to Floyd Norris at the New York Times. He works for the naked shorters, but I am demanding that he print my side of the story!! Once the truth gets out about the widespread corruption in the markets, and the collusion of the SEC I am sure that I will be freed immediately.

Thanks for all the encouraging comments I have received on this blog, particularly the note from Patty Byrne. If this can happen to me, it can happen to any responsible businessman. If I can be unjustly imprisoned, then outstanding penny-stock CEO's like Michael Zwebner, Urban Casavant, Vinny "two toes" LoCastro, and what's his name at PLNI are also in danger. Folks like us are the backbone of the American economy, which is being destroyed by naked shorters and message board bashers like star the wonder pup.

I may have made a few mistakes. Who hasn't? SEC rules are ambiguous at best, particularly the one about false and misleading press releases. And where is it written that a guy can go to jail for accepting a few gifts from friends? It's not like I was smoking dope!

I'll write more tomorrow after my release. If you want to help out, I could use a carton or two of Newport 100's.